Training Up a Child

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Train in the verse above is a transitive verb which means to teach and form by practice; to educate; to exercise with discipline. It needs a trainer, somebody who is in authority. And it needs a student. It is a two-way engagement. It involves work. And for the training to be successful, its implementation needs consistency, perseverance, patience and determination.

There are three principles that we can learn from this verse on how we can become successful in training our children.

1. PROGRAM

Proverbs 22:6 is for parents and caregivers. They are the ones who will train up the child. The training is not just any training, it is about in the way he should go. In the secular world, if a parent wants his child to be musician when he grows up, he will train him to play musical instruments early on. He will expose him to the world of music early on. He will give him music lessons as early as the child can learn. If the parent wants his child to be a chef, he will involve him in the kitchen, allow him to experience the world of food. The training is done by the parent.

This verse can take on any direction. It can be applied to the secular world and it will still hold true. But for Christians, the part that says “in the way he should go” refers to God’s ways. Parents should train their children of Godly ways. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

When the time comes for the child to be more exposed to the world, he will encounter so many other forces and influences that will affect his worldview. That is why it is important that as early as possible and as much as we can, parents need to train him in Godly ways that it will stick to him permanently and will become his foundation as he grows older.

2. INTEGRITY

The challenge is on the parent. You need to also be firmly founded on your faith so that you can pass on the legacy of faith to your child. You need to walk the talk. You cannot give what you do not have. The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him! (Proverbs 20:7)

Families whose parents are doctors tend to have children doctors. Lawyer parents tend to have lawyer children. Teacher parents tend to have teacher children, and the list goes on.

In our faith, prayerful parents tend to have prayerful children. Children who are not exposed to cursing will be appalled when they hear it from their friends. Parents who bring their children to church will have children who are church goers. Some children may go wayward as they grow older, but the seed of faith will bring them back to the fold.

The point is, parents need to believe in what they are teaching their children. The children will know if their parents are faking it. And if you want to be successful in your training, you need integrity.

3. HELP

You cannot do it alone. You need the help of the Holy Spirit (John 14:26). You have lots of shortcomings as a person and as a parent. And that is where the Holy Spirit comes in. He is your helper and your guide, an ever-present help in time of need (Psalm 46:1). You will encounter trouble because you will face many challengers especially on being consistent and patient and loving, balancing between love and discipline, between the carrot and the stick.

In all these things, families are the core unit of the Church. We need to raise up children who are better versions of ourselves. Where we fall short of our devotion and commitment to the cause of Christ, let us raise the younger generation who will love God more, serve Him more and be the best offering of our being to God. For the Lord has given us this heritage that we may be called blessed (Psalm 127:3).